Hammering Against the Walls of Hope
I was driving down a country road on my way to visit a person who had just lost a spouse. As a pastor and a hospice chaplain, I had made such visits before, yet I had to admit that the person that had just died was fairly young and this was new territory for the widow I was about to see.
As I rounded the last corner toward the place where I was going, I pulled over to the side of the road to prepare myself for what I was about to enter into. I thought about what one really has to offer in such times, the importance of listening and what it might be like to be in her shoes.
About that time a song came on my Jeep radio that I had never heard before. It was a song by Dave Matthews Band called “Looking for a Vein.” The song was not as dark as I imagined and the meanings were profoundly multivalent.
Dave began to sing,
“Down in this hole again
trying to find a vein or something
hammering these walls and hoping
hoping to find my way through…,”
and time stood still.
I thought of the person I was going to see. I thought of the people around me. I thought of experiences of futility and hope in my own life and paused. Music is powerful. Truth and understanding are powerful.
An ancient doctor tells the story of a fisherman who met Jesus. The fisherman’s name was Simon. Like the protagonist in Matthew’s song, he is caught between loss and possibility. He is trying to make something of his life, but getting few results.
Even as Jesus invites Simon to put out his net one more time in the deeper water, it is hard to blame Simon when he says, “Master, we have been at it all night long…” Simon has been at it his whole life long, but then he adds with no small degree of humility, to Jesus, “…but if you say so.”
It is a testament to Simon’s trust that he casts his net out one more time. It is also a testament to the reality in front of him that the possibilities for newness remain. Simon caught more than a catch of fish that day.
As I visited with the widow I had gone to see, it was clear that she was no stranger to hardship nor the time it takes to recover. My purpose was to listen. She knew there is no magic formula for getting through such times, but there is faith, community and the assurance that our story is still unfolding thanks to that mysterious presence before us.
I imagine most of us are familiar with times of darkness and light. As we think about others, the nations and even the planet — it is clear that there is still much in need of healing and hope.
Advent is an invitation to play our metaphorical instruments one more time to the best of our ability, hammering the walls of expectation, so that the light of a new song may be revealed.
